Blogging. Say what?
I’ve been thinking about starting a blog for some time now. But why think about something and not do it? Kind of my philosophy with life lately. Thinking about a trip you wanna take, a movie you want to see or anything you want to do? GO DO IT. Why not? What’s holding you back?
Today I am enjoying the spa with some girlfriends for the first time ever, so naturally this relaxing environment has inspired me to write. I’ve decided lately to be more and more honest with myself and with everyone I cross paths with. I am trying to figure out what life means to me and what I want to do most. Some days that’s easy and other days it’s a struggle, and I’ve come to terms with the fact that it’s not always going to be clear and that it’s perfectly acceptable and even a great answer to not have an answer at all. You don’t always have to have things figured out or know exactly what you want and that’s okay. You have to have time to figure out what you do want in life and the ability to explore different options before you commit to anything big. Don’t get me wrong it’s always a great idea to live on the wild side and take a leap of faith or be adventurous but when it comes to the big stuff it’s also okay to take your time deciding what it is you do want, and I mean really want.
For me I know what I want with my independence and I know that I want to travel and explore and find out more about myself. I also know I want to be single for a while longer. But on that same note I know what I want out of a relationship or even a marriage later in my life. Just because I may not be ready or willing to commit to that now doesn’t mean I don’t want it or even know what I want when I am ready for that serious commitment. For now though I want to worry about where I’m going to eat and what country I’m traveling to next and what friend is coming with me or if I am going to explore solo. I want to know what amazing and undiscovered place I’m going to stumble upon next or what foreign love affair might fall into my lap on my next escapade. I am curious about countries I’ve never been to or cities I’ve never even heard of. I have a craving for something far away, for something unknown, just this desire to be anywhere new or anywhere where no one knows who I am. It gives me the freedom to portray myself in any way I feel fit, really in anyway that I want.
That feeling of freedom gives me the courage to do what I want, and when I want, and to choose what that means exactly. Right now for me a serious commitment is figuring out if the job I do now and completely LOVE is the job I want to continue to do. I am stuck in this limbo of if what I’m doing now is enough to satisfy my craving for life and for adventure. I want to always have this zest for life that has me excited to wake up and love every ounce of every day or at the very least be passionate about everything I do and every emotion that I feel. I go at life full throttle with no regrets and nothing to look back at and wish I would have done but didn’t. When I’m pissed I wanna be pissed and when I am happy (about 95% of the time) I want to bask in that bliss and pull everyone around me into that same happiness. I just want to feel every emotion and truly be present for every part of my life. I want to love what I do and feel like work is part of who I am but not have it feel like a job. Currently I feel that, and frankly I think I could feel that in damn near any position or career I choose but I think it’s about the attitude you choose and the people you have surrounding you, also something that you can choose.
Anywho it’s nap time at the spa so I’ll catch you all later 😘😘.
Sunset Chaser 